The Premier League According to Fifa 16… Gameweek 34

Another week brings with it another host of exciting Premier League matches, and with plenty to play for at the top and bottom of the table, Gameweek 34 is sure to provide fun for football fans everywhere. But we here at The Game Bolt are committed to playing copious amounts of Fifa 16 to find out exactly what will happen in each Premier League match.

This week sees Leicester’s title credentials tested by West Ham, who have had a fine season themselves. Newcastle host Swansea in another 6-pointer for the Toon, and Sunderland travel down to Norwich in what could be the biggest game left at the bottom of the table.

Last week, we didn’t get any result precisely right, but we did manage to get some pretty close. Hopefully this week we’re closer with our predictions, and with fifteen games being played there is some more room for success. Read on football fans, for Gameweek 34 predictions using Fifa 16.

Saturday, 16th April:

Could this be the result that decides the bottom three? Probably. If Norwich win. According to Fifa 16, they will edge a hotly contested match by a singular Mbokani goal. Despite Pinto receiving a red card, Sunderland will not be able to score a goal, with an impressive Ruddy in Norwich’s goal stopping them get anything. Sunderland will deserve more out of Norwich, but will not be so lucky.

Predicted Result: Norwich City 1 – Sunderland 0. Actual Result: Norwich City 0 – Sunderland 3.

With the season running away from Everton, languishing in the bottom half of the table, they will earn a point against a Southampton side who still have the European places in their minds. Pellé will score for Southampton after a good amount of pressure, but Everton will get one back from Lukaku – a quality strike from a quality player.

Predicted Result: Everton 1 – Southampton 1. Actual Result: Everton 1 – Southampton 1.

Aston Villa’s season will not get any better at Old Trafford. Manchester United will tear Villa’s defence apart with almost every foray forward. Mata and Rooney will both score twice against Villa’s shoddy defence. Depay’s season won’t get any better either, after getting shown a straight red for a stupid challenge against the relegated Aston Villa, who perhaps will come away frustrated at their lack of goals after moments of sustained pressure.

Predicted Result: Manchester United 4 – Aston Villa 0. Actual Result: Manchester United 1 – Aston Villa 0.

Newcastle will fight to the death against Swansea, but it unfortunately will not be enough, as Swansea (inspired by Fer’s impressive display and two goals) will edge a great match for the neutrals. Paloschi will net the winner against a Newcastle side that finally gives a goal-scoring Doumbia a chance. De Jong will pull one back for Newcastle, but it might not be enough to save their place in the Premier League.

Predicted Result: Newcastle 2 – Swansea City 3. Actual Result: Newcastle 3 – Swansea 0.

West Brom and Watford will play out an entertaining draw here, with Fletcher scoring for the Baggies and Deeney grabbing one back for Watford. Watford will be unlucky at the final whistle, as just before it, the crossbar followed by a clearance off the line will deny them the three points.

Predicted Result: West Brom 1 – Watford 1. Actual Result: West Brom 0 – Watford 1.

This will be an entertaining match. Chelsea will go 2-0 up through Oscar and a Pato penalty, but Manchester City will come back with substitutes Nasri and Iheanacho earning them a point on the road.

Predicted Result: Chelsea 2 – Manchester City 2. Actual Result: Chelsea 0 – Manchester City 3.

Sunday, 17th April:

Bournemouth’s great first foray in the Premier League will continue, as we will see them pick up an unlikely three points against a resurgent Liverpool. Iturbe will come off the bench and score the only goal in this tight affair.

Predicted Result: Bournemouth 1 – Liverpool 0. Actual Result: Bournemouth 1 – Liverpool 2.

The title race will continue after a terrible performance from Leicester will see West Ham come away with three goals and three points. Valencia and Kouyate will score in open play, whilst Noble will net a penalty to complete Leicester’s humbling.

Predicted Result: Leicester City 0 – West Ham 3. Actual Result: Leicester City 2 – West Ham 2.

Arsenal will tighten their grip on a top four finish with a hard-earned win against Crystal Palace. Iwobi will continue his own fine run of form with the only goal of the game. Both teams will have goals cleared off the line, but Arsenal will be the deserved winners.

Predicted Result: Arsenal 1 – Crystal Palace 0. Actual Result: Arsenal 1 – Crystal Palace 1.

Monday, 18th April:

In recent years, Stoke against Tottenham has provided football fans with quite a lot of goals, and this trend will continue. Tottenham will pile a bit of pressure on Leicester with a deserved 3-1 win away from home – Kane, Alli and substitute Chadli netting the goals for Spurs. Stoke will grab a goal through an Arnautovic penalty and put some nerves in for Tottenham, but will ultimately lose against another impressive Spurs performance.

Predicted Result: Stoke 1 – Tottenham Hotspur 3. Actual Result: Stoke 0 – Tottenham Hotspur 4.

Tuesday, 19th April:

Newcastle will be all but relegated despite picking up a point against Manchester City. Substitute Perez will open the scoring in the 87th minute, but it will end in agony for Newcastle fans when Fernandinho hits a screamer in the 91st minute. Newcastle could’ve scored three or four goals, but will not get past the opposition goalkeeper. Oh well, it was nice knowing Newcastle in the top-flight.

Predicted Result: Newcastle 1 – Manchester City 1. Actual Result: Newcastle 1 – Manchester City 1.

Wednesday, 20th April:

West Ham will fight some more for the coveted fourth place finish with a win against a Watford side who will improve in the second half. Lanzini will grab the only goal in this close match.

Predicted Result: West Ham 1 – Watford 0. Actual Result: West Ham 3 – Watford 1.

The Merseyside derby, one of the biggest matches in the Premier League. It’s provided many cracking games over the years, but bragging rights this time will go to those in blue. Everton will score through Lennon and Lukaku, but a red card for Jagielka will add some extra spice to an already tasty game. Robles will make many saves to stop a Liverpool side who may consider themselves unlucky.

Predicted Result: Liverpool 0 – Everton 2. Actual Result: Liverpool 4 – Everton 0.

What a match this will be. Manchester United will just draw against Palace despite plenty of free-flowing attacking football. Mata will open the scoring with a great piece of skill, but a (lucky) Cabaye penalty and Sako strike will put Palace in charge. Substitute Depay will score the equaliser (although he can’t unless his red card in the previous match is rescinded…)

Predicted Result: Manchester United 2 – Crystal Palace 2. Actual Result: Manchester United 2 – Crystal Palace 0.

Thursday, 21st April:

Arsenal will beat West Brom so bad that it will be embarrassing. Sánchez will net a hat-trick, Elneny will score twice, Walcott will net one and substitute Iwobi will also score twice in a complete humiliation of West Brom. Rondón will net a penalty, but who cares when Arsenal will score eight goals?

Predicted Result: Arsenal 8 – West Brom 1. Actual Result: Arsenal 2 – West Brom 0.

How the Premier League table would look after these predicted results:

Toby Saunders is sometimes opinionated, and you’ll find him posting garbage about games, films and his beloved Spurs and Bath City FC on Twitter.

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