Make Your Own Trophies! Uncharted Edition

This week, Nathan Drake and company returns for what has been billed as one final adventure. Our favorite swashbuckling adventurer has been the star of three PlayStation home console exclusives, as well as appearing on a mobile game and an entry on the PS Vita. His games have also had several huge trophy lists, and are often filled with achievements that require you to collect dozens of treasures. I’m not the biggest fan of these trophy lists, as they feel cluttered with hard-to-reach collectibles, but the games are still phenomenal to an extent that it doesn’t take away from the experience. Nonetheless, I thought I would try my hand at creating some Uncharted-themed trophies.

Bronze: Still not listening- Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune
How do you get it?: “Listen” to Sully’s joke about Pablo Escobar 10 times

When I first played Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune, I had no idea what Sully’s joke about Pablo Escobar was actually supposed to be. I wasn’t too knowledgeable about the Colombian drug lord, but it’s supposed to be a play on how Sully comes off untrustworthy, as well as how dangerous some of their acquaintances can be.

The joke also introduces Sully and Nate’s relationship. Nate’s the young, whippersnapper that always has eyes bigger than his stomach. Sully, on the other hand, is older, constantly catching his breath with his hands on his knees. He has the patience for a good joke or two. Nate does not, but it will take some patience to come back and listen to Sully’s joke 10 times.

Silver: An eye for an eye- Uncharted 2: Among Thieves
How do you get it?: Try to shoot Chloe after the events of the train

Yeah, yeah, I know. This one is kind of hard since I don’t know how you would detect “almost” shooting a NPC. But it’s tied to an important part of Uncharted 2, and that’s Chloe’s constant betrayals in an attempt to stop Lazaraveic. Think about how asinine that is even in the context of a video game. The terrorist has an entire army of trained soldiers at his beck and call. He has the “genius” Harry Flynn who couldn’t walk his way out of the shower. Heck, just look at the guy. He looks like The Rock ate Drax the Destroyer and then trained with Rhona Rousey.

Why does Chloe keep betraying you then?? She keeps setting Nate up, and he keeps going back to her!! You know what a lot of treasure hunters would do in Nate’s shoes? Pop a cap in her asap! If she doesn’t just turn Nate and Sully over to Lazarveic, all three of them die, and Jeff the friggin Cameraman is probably saved! They also probably don’t find the treasure since Flynn is stuck in that shower.

Gold: Nathan Drake- Pirate Hunter Extraordinaire- Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception
How do you get it?: Kill 500 pirates

The ship’s graveyard is my favorite set piece so far in the Uncharted series. Within the husk of the rusted, broken down ship is a band of pirates who have been hired by Marlowe. You’ll maneuver throughout the graveyard, with the pirates taking up in many key, exciting and challenging set pieces. There’s a doozy of one in the middle of a big arena, where you’ll be forced to keep moving in and out of the water onto ships, containers, basically toward anything with cover.

However, crafting your very own personal Nathan Drake, Pirate Hunter Extraordinaire surely invokes a personal stake in this fight. He was kidnapped after a mean, old lady drugged him! Aren’t you mad, Indy Drake? Get mad! Take out all your aggression and mass murdering amidst an abandoned ship junkyard, because that’s what any normal, sane person would do.

Of course, these are but three measly inventions of my own creation. I could probably create dozens, from the various bonus modes, to playing around with the different skins, and even some that revolve around a certain crushingly difficult boss. What are some trophy challenges you would like to see in the Uncharted series? Sound off in the comments below!

Liam Crossey is the Executive Editor of Features for The Game Bolt. Follow him on Twitter  for too many retweets.