Make Your Own Trophies! Part 2

Hey all, it’s that time of the week again where we contemplate the actual meaning of trophies. Remember the homework from last week? No? What do you mean you don’t actually get any homework? This isn’t just a blog post, it’s a love letter to the careful creation of trophies! Trophology 101 is one of the most important core classes you can ever take while enrolled in the University of PlayStation.

As we get closer to the release date of Dark Souls III, I’m reminded of how some trophy lists can be extremely daunting, and not just because they include bullshit multiplayer trophies. No, some trophy lists are just so darn hard to complete, so impossible to platinum, because the game is so hard. The Souls games are some such examples, as Rogue Legacy, Super Meat Boy, Spelunky, and basically any roguelite released in the past generation or so. To commemorate these incredibly challenging trophy lists, the creations I’m proposing on this week’s homemade trophy list that, while they may be difficult to obtain, they’re…..

Uh…..

Yeah, they’re just tough. (But that trophy popping sound!)

Bronze: My Name is Max- Fallout New Vegas
How do you get it?: Customize a character named Max Rockatansky and beat the game on Hardcode more.

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Right off the bat, let’s get to possibly one of the toughest trophies I can come up with. Fallout: New Vegas’s Hardcore Mode essentially rewrites the rules of the game. You have to rest regularly, stimpaks only gradually heal you, your companions can die, and so on. It takes the apocalyptic kiddy gloves off and replaces them with newer, radiation contaminated gloves fitted with lacerated blades on the knuckles.

The simple goal of this trophy is to beat the game with a character named Max Rockatansky, the name of the main character from the Mad Max film franchise. I haven’t played New Vegas in a while, but it makes more sense to have a trophy here since New Vegas is in the middle of the desert. I imagine it would piss a lot of people off, for this trophy to only be a bronze, since Hardcore mode, the trophy you would also get for beating the game on Hardcore, is a gold.

Don’t worry, fellow trolls! It’s all out of good, albeit intense, fun.

Silver: Donald, Slow Down!- Donald Duck: Goin’ Quakers
How do you get it?: Beat the game pausing less than three times on each level.

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Have you ever played Donald Duck: Goin’ Quakers? I have, and it’s kind of tricky. The side scrolling platforming mechanics on this PS One duck-tastic game are rather imprecise at times, with Donald coming off as a bit touchy and the platforms themselves feeling too contained to properly stick the landing.

So much so that I often found myself pausing the game often to make sure my anger was not getting the better of me. It’s also a weird platformer, so I think anything that could push the speed of the game would really separate the gaming quacks from the professionals.

Sorry about that last pun, by the way

Gold: Thank you for your service, Soldier- Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3
How do you get it?: Have a save file that has campaign completions of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare and Modern Warfare 2 on Veteran difficulty. Then, beat the game on Veteran on Modern Warfare 3.

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What do you think of when you heard the words, “Veteran difficulty?” Do you imagine an elderly man struggling to go to the bathroom? Or do you imagine Call of Duty’s challenging Veteran modes, filled with bullet sponge enemies and snipers galore.  If you are a member of the former population, thank you so much for checking out our site!

However, if you can recall the latter, you probably realize how hard this trophy is. Modern Warfare 2’s later stages in particular are difficult, as enemies seemingly pop-up out of nowhere with perfect aim and can gun you down in three or four shots. I imagine dedicated fans of the Modern Warfare series deserve to be rewarded for their efforts from the previous generation, and so I bestow this trophy onto you if you ever see this. Keep up the good work.


Liam Crossey is the Executive Editor of Features for The Game Bolt. Follow him on Twitter  for too many retweets.